I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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