My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
