is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
