he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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