He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
