I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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