Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
