woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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