get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
