Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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