I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
