i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The air taste purple.
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