hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
