you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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