Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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