Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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