Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who died my cat blue again?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
