ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
