i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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