so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
