He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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