I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
