I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
