brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
