Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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