At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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