I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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