Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
