so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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