I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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