its not stalking. its research.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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