I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
