It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
