you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize