brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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