I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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