He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
