My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
