i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
