Ambien. No doubt about it.
I cockslap morals
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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