Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
