I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
