why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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