I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Randomize
