I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
