he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
