Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Mom said you looked used
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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