Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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