I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
