He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
