bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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