just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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