Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
