The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
