How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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