.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize