Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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