I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
