Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
