i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Text me some of your sweat
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
