the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
