What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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