hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Mom said you looked used
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
