Jerry, you need to find god
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
