nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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