I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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