Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
