why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I've blown a few things in my day
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
