Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
