She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize