I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize