she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
