It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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