Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
